What You're Good At Isn't Always What You Love

There are some talents I could do without. It's not that I don't think they are useful, but that I just don't enjoy those activities. You can be good at something and not like doing it. Yet, the talent is needed, others recognize it and request it, and you know it is at least not wrong to help, and at best, the right thing to do. So you find yourself doing lots of dreary things very well, while your heart pines for something else.

All the little details...

Life changes so quickly. Why I feel so fascinated by progress beats me, but there are so many details, some of you just don't know what you've missed like...
...TV dinners whose foil cover is hard to remove without getting burned,
...public schools with only one vending machine--for no. 2 pencils,
...grocery stores with only one or two brands of whatever you want,
...nylon stockings held up by a girdle with clips,
...girls being required to wear dresses or skirts to school every day,
...putting on a coat, scarf, hat, mittens, snow pants and boots before going out,
...shaking a pan on the stove for popcorn,
...sitting down together as a family for every single meal eaten at home,
...personal hand-written letters arriving weekly from family members,
...wearing white gloves to church and a hat,
...black and white television with a curved rounded screen,
...only two TV channels to pick from if the weather cooperates, otherwise one,
...bicycles with only one speed--you back pedaled to brake.
Enough for now. I've got to finish that meal for all the family members who are coming to sit down together to eat it.

I'm not so sure this is a good idea...

1. Drinking a white Russian followed by a black Russian on an empty stomach.
2. Accepting those double Manhattans from the lecherous ogler at the bar.
3. Doing handstands in the living room.
4. Starting a 10 page paper and a 15 page paper in the evening of the day before they are both due.
5. Riding down that steep hill in a wagon with two toddlers on my lap.
6. Deciding to hike the two miles to the nature center because there's nothing better to do because school was cancelled because of all the freaking snow that fell.
7. Deciding to camp even though our tent doesn't have a rain fly because what are the chances it will rain tonight anyhow...
8. Taking the short cut back to the house under those tall elm trees because this thunderstorm is coming on a lot faster than I realized.
9. Going to the prom with the guy I just had an argument with anyway, because heck, it's just one night. What could happen?
10. Walking home in the rain because my ride didn't show up, and what's a little drenching going to do to me anyway...

I admit it. I did all of these things at some time in my life, and ignored that wee voice in my head warning me that I shouldn't be so sure that it was a good idea.

Never Been to Cedar Point? Ha!

Riding that roller coaster every day
Elation to depression giving sway
To the plunging down, taking breath away.

Then grind, grind, grind to ascend dark to light
A gasping at the heavens from that height,
A panicky vision: despairing plight.

Screaming, roaring, sucking wind, swift descent
Clutching handrails, hoping the plunge relent
Knowing rock bottom is where you are meant.

Is not striving through life this: up and down?
We work to conquer and gain the prize crown,
Never suspecting our fleeting renown.

Now and never again

Scrambling and hurrying
For obscure and fleeting moments
We wear ourselves down
And grow blind to the beauty
Of languid gazing,
Insensate to quiet breathing,
And deaf to
Profound listening.
Contemplate the now
That will never come again
And wonder at
The miracle of your presence.

How to Turn on Your Television in Ten Straight-forward Steps

For a fifty-something person, it is mildly daunting to decide to watch television on your new large HD screen and find that there are at least four remotes to choose from to get to where you want to go. So here is my strategy:
1. Pick up the first remote and push buttons randomly to see if anything happens.
2. Pick up the second remote and push even more vigorously.
3. Pick up the third remote and repeat above two steps.
4. Pick up fourth remote and repeat above first two steps. It is harder now because you can't see the buttons through your tears of frustration, and your hands are trembling.
5. Take all four remotes to the first person under 30 that you can find.
6. Don't let them have them. Make them come with you to the television and tell you which buttons to push.
7. Make them explain why.
8. Make them show you how to get closed captions.
9. Forget everything.
10. Next time, start again at the top of the list.

Why Being a Pessimist Helps Me Cope

I don't like being a pessimist. I wish my mind worked differently. But it doesn't. However there are some distinct advantages to always expecting the worst to happen.
1. Most of the time it doesn't.
2. I will be ready for anything.
3. I've planned all your funerals many times over already, (after your tragic, sudden and unexpected death) so when things need to get decided, I'll have a plan in hand already. If you have song requests, I can accommodate you with early notification.
4. Happy things become such wonderful surprises,
5. and sad things are no surprise at all.
6. I can laugh at the times to come because someone once said, "Comedy is tragedy plus time." It might be Woody Allen, but I can't confirm that.
7. Planning what to do when the worst (which never happens) happens provides many hours of concentrated entertainment.
8. I get to be the heroine in all my imagined tragedies.
9. When bad things happen, I can be calm because I saw it coming.
10. My one hope is heaven, and I sure as hell intend to get there.