Fading Away

I hate to keep talking about my hearing loss, but that seems to be what is on my mind a lot. With good reason. In the last few weeks I've noticed another decline. It may be that I can't talk on the phone any more. Just ask Laura. We had a ridiculous "conversation" this morning which was basically Laura shouting into her phone one word at a time and me guessing what it was. I was able to help her, but anyone listening at Laura's end must have thought she was talking to a moron. If you talk to me in person and I have a blank look on my face, chances are I have no clue what you are saying...

I'm going to the library later on. It is time to get books or videos on sign language. Anyone want to join me in this venture?

Not Making Much Progress

but I'm having fun along the way, sometimes. Not sure which direction progress is, most of the time. Not even sure what it looks like when I get there--but it's not a place you stay. Just move on, buddy.

The Crazies Within Us

Everyone has little things that they are absolutely crazy about, and I don't mean that in the sense of something you just love. I mean the borderline, if not over the line, obsessive-compulsive it's-gotta-be-my-way things that you are a little insane to insist on. When we are honest with ourselves, we realize that we are being unreasonable in these areas, BUT THAT'S JUST THE WAY WE ARE (or so we think). Most of these things are petty little ticklish areas, and we realize the real issue is not the thing in itself, but the control we feel we need. When these areas come into direct clash with someone who does it differently, turmoil results, and we learn how much we still need to grow in charity. Does it really matter how the table is set, or if the pictures all hang straight on the wall all the time, or what we use to sweep the floor? I could question dozens of trivial things, and the answers would all be the same: no, because they are trivial. We can know we are sane when we can distinguish the difference, and if we can't, we probably will never figure out how crazy we are. It's the other guy!

You Gotta Love It...

when A-Rod hits a homer.

when you pull into the passing lane, push on the accelerator, and hear that VROOOM as your back pushes into the seat and you lunge forward.

when you do a hard Sudoku without penciling in any little numbers to complete it.

when you type the last letter of the last word of a paper you stayed up all night to complete.

when you go over every entry for the entire year in your bank account, find several mistakes that you fix, and it balances the first time you check it when done.

when you're doing what you love best and are in the zone.

when you make that last car payment.

when you plan a surprise that is a little tricky and pull it off.

when a pro-life Republican ousts a pro-abortion Democrat.

when you hear and feel that thump on the runway after a flight through lots of turbulence.

when Art Garfunkel hits that last note in "Bridge Over Troubled Waters".

when you whap that ping-pong ball and it hits the very tip of your opponent's corner.

when the rain is pattering down on your parched and thirsty garden.

So what's yours?

Hurry Up and Slow Down

It seems like the less you have to do the less you get done, and the more you have to do, the more you amaze yourself at what you can get done in a short amount of time. I really prefer the latter scenario, because I like being productive, but I think everyone needs some of both. We can't go blazes all the time, so when we finally go into slo-mo every little effort becomes exhausting.

On Being Original

How many people in the world are there now? Six billion? The number doesn't really matter. It's a lot of people. I ask myself now and then, what will it take in the future to come up with an original idea--something no one else has thought of? The answer comes to me now and then in a way that makes me want to kick myself. Hard. It will be very hard.

I wrote a book and it sits on my closet shelf getting dusty and yellowed while I screw up the courage to someday maybe send it to a publisher. In the meantime, I read, read, read, and die agonies when yet another author out there has written something with MY IDEA in it! And I tell myself, those publishers are going to think I just ripped off this author, when the truth be told, I wrote my book before this guy, or at least before I read his work. So as time goes by, I feel less and less inclined to enter the fray since what I have done will be nothing new under the sun.

And yet the author of life keeps making new people every day, each one never seen before. And astronomers keep finding new galaxies, all unique and thrilling beyond belief. And biologists keep finding out that life is much more complicated than they thought, and so intricately lovely. And artists, musicians, and actors keep creating exquisitely beautiful expressions.

So maybe there is hope after all that I, the only me in the whole world, in my individual originality, could create something that I could call all my own...

Divine Math

A friend just told me about getting cheated out of some money coming to him. He then went on to relate how unexpected income came to him which more than compensated for his loss. He credited it to God watching out for him. One could dismiss this as being overly simplistic, but it has happened to me many times. Sure, life could just work that way, the pluses getting neutralized by the minuses and vice versa. But more than math happened in my friend's transactions. In the end, his cheater lost. Either his conscience will smolder within him forever or be entirely snuffed out. My friend gained assurance that he is being cared for--his faith was built up because he chose to look for God's hand at work in his daily life. If we don't have this kind of faith, our faith will be in an impersonal God way out there, who knows we exist but is too concerned with bigger things to let our small troubles come to his attention. This is not what God wants or what we need. He is serious about us knowing him personally. So when you are counting up your pluses and minuses, use divine math. God is in your counting house investing in your eternity.