One out of three people
Are out at the mall.
So says the papers
If you believe them at all.
The ads showed great bargains
Of things to be had
And for those who get them
I am exceedingly glad.
They stood out for hours
In lines without number
Waiting for cool stuff
More important than slumber.
They played by the rules
And did their line duty
To earn their whatever
That was the prize booty.
Am I missing something?
What is it I don't see?
There is no appeal in this
For a person like me.
I don't like the crowds
Or searching to park.
I don't like the noise
Or getting up in the dark.
I don't like long lines
And standing long hours.
To put up with all that
Must take super-powers.
So until someone shows me
Just what I can't miss
I think I'll just say,
"I'll pass on this dish."
I'll stay home in my bed
Where it's warm as toast
And get up at seven.
I like that the most.
I'll be glad for the people
Who don't want it that way.
I'll do what I like
And they'll do as they may.
I won't rant about greed
Of the other side
'Cause that might reveal
My own earthly pride.
So if you enjoy shopping,
Then go have a blast.
And I'll stay at home
Till this hour is passed.
And when you get home
I'll feed you your dinner
And we can discuss
Who's the biggest winner!
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