Midnight Raiders

The Ballad of the Midnight Raiders

It was late in the summer of seventy-eight.
A party was raging and it was getting kinda late.
The music was rockin’, the bass was loud and deep,
And no one ‘round that courtyard was getting any sleep.
It was humid, and hot, and windows were left open
‘Cause with no A.C. it was the only way of coping.
“Brother Jack,” says “Brother Gerry, “there’s no consideration,
The party ‘cross the courtyard gives me determination.
If we want some rest tonight the orgy has to stop,
So let us do some raiding. That cookie’s going to drop.”

Way down.
Watch out, boys!
That cookie’s going down.

They slipped out of their bunk beds and slid into their shoes.
They snuck across the courtyard—it was time to pay the dues.
Through the window of the party they could see the drunkards crazy.
They were thrashing, they were boozing, and their judgment was all hazy.
“This won’t be hard,” said Gerry. “They’ll never know what hit ‘em.
They’re smashed beyond all knowing. C’mon, Jack. Let’s git ‘em.”
Jack loosened light bulbs in the hallway so it was black as pitch,
‘Cause if they were caught, by golly, it would really be a bitch.
Meanwhile Gerry found the fuse box and the switch for ‘partment B.
“Like taking candy from a baby,” murmured Gerry with some glee.

Way down.
Watch out, boys!
That cookie’s going down.

Now half the plan was making peace and calling it a day.
The other half was crucial: it was keeping it that way.
“Just one more step,” says Gerry, “to execute the plan.
We must batten down the hatches, and do it with elan.
We have no lock to keep them from the hallway to the fuse,
So we must make them think it’s locked. We must come up with a ruse.”
Jack took some twigs off of the ground and in the crack he crammed
So that the door appeared as locked, and yet was only jammed.
“Now pull the plug,” said Gerry, “and then we will get even.
There’s an exit from the fuse room, a real good way of leavin’.

Way down.
Watch out, boys!
That cookie’s going down.

The plug was pulled, my hearties, and the silence, it was golden.
Other tenants on the courtyard to the raiders were beholden.
Jack and Gerry crossed the courtyard in the deepest black of cover
But a moment they did pause. At the party window they did hover.
The cursing it was mighty fierce, but soon it settled down,
And peace once more began to rule that side of Ypsi town.
Next time you’re at a party and the hour is getting later,
Remember all your neighbors, friends: they might be midnight raiders.
They’ll plot ‘gainst you and all is lost. Your noise they’ll come to end it,
For silence calls for justice, and the raiders will defend it.

Way down.
Watch out, boys!
The cookie was shut down.

©2008 Lisa Lynch